Small Successes (It's All Relative)

If I make it one year I'm going to call that good.

I didn't cry on campus today. That's a good day.

I think of when I was little and would climb up a tree too high or get my awkward elbows stuck in the bars of the dining room chairs... when I would start whining my mom would say, "You got yourself there, you can get yourself out." I think of that often. How did I get myself here? (And why did I think it was a good idea?) Looking back on that day in my itty bitty Bellingham apartment, lovely cat and Caitlin circulating throughout the always-too-cold living room, I watch myself click that serious "commit" button at the bottom of the email that offered me this job-- and I wonder what it would be like if I haven't.

Of course, it's too late; it is what it is, woulda-coulda-shoulda and all that... And I'm feeling more sane this evening than I have in awhile. A strange moment of calm in the midst of so much chaos.

I'll take what I can get.