Playing Grown Up

Our living room is really fun right now. It looks like a kid's dress-up room: hula-hoops, corsets, fancy dresses, high-heeled shoes. It's good. It counters the other parts of my life that are embarrassingly middle-aged.

School
I repeat things to my students that my mom used to say to me. Kids fart and I explain that it's not necessary to laugh. They insult each other and I remind them that if they can't say something nice, they shouldn't say anything at all. When they get mad they say they don't like me. The next day they come to show me their report cards. Even if their grades aren't good. I correct their grammar and they point out my grey hairs.

TV Shows
Dexter. Weeds. Lost.
I get my 8.99/mo's worth out of Netflix.

The Gym
I pay $25 a month so that a few times a week I can go run in place on a machine while watching action movies and judging everyone around me. They wear muscle shirts and those big weird belts. People bounce their heads to bad music and nod and laugh in response to the multitude of TV shows they can watch just by plugging in headphones to their fancy elliptical machines. I feel equal parts shame and confidence when I leave.
I bought a package of athletic socks. At Dollar General.

Groceries
I buy a whole bag of ciabatta rolls and put them in the freezer. Then I can toast them or make sandwiches on the cold bread, which will be perfectly thawed by the time for lunch at school. I get really excited about bargains. 1.49 for a gallon of raspberry lemonade! I know.
I know.